Mechanic Needs A Dictionary

My VW Jetta has about 48,300 miles on it and is under warranty until 50,000. I figured it was a good time to bring it to the dealer and have some minor things checked out while it would still be free. This isn’t the first Jetta I’ve owned, and previous experience has taught me a few things. Primarily that the electrical circuits that control the dashboard indicator lights are a bit shoddy. For example, the check engine light is permanently on, the radiator light comes on and flashes at will and then turns off, and the windshield wiper fluid light will come on once a week or so.

I’ve had the car hooked up to the computer several times and the dealer has told me there’s nothing wrong with the engine. He’ll switch off the indicator light, but it will turn back on when I get about two blocks from the dealership. (Just far enough away that the mechanics can’t hear me blurt out profanities.) I’ve had the radiator checked and it’s in the clear. And there is more than enough wiper fluid. Still, with the warranty window closing, I figured I’d bring the car in for one last look over.

I hate mechanics. I’m pretty convinced they’re out to screw over everyone, but they take special, and conceited advantage of women. Before I left my car in their all-too-capable hands (sense the sarcasm here?) I sat down to explain to a mechanic what the problem seemed to be. I told him the check engine light is on, and that the wiper fluid and radiator lights come on intermittently. He got up and told me to wait while he went to the car to get a look for himself. When he came back, this is the conversation that ensued:

Mechanic: I see that the check engine light is on, and we’ll look into that, but there are no other indicator lights on.

Me: Yes, the wiper fluid light and the radiator light come on intermittently.

Mechanic: Were the lights on when you dropped off the car?

Me: Yes

Mechanic: Huh. Well they aren’t on now. (And he gives me this look like I’m some sort of hypochondriac with my car.)

Me: Yea. They come on intermit….(Ah! I see where this is going. He doesn’t know what “intermittently” means. So I continue…) they come on and go off at random. They were on earlier, but it doesn’t surprise me if they’re off now.

At this the mechanic nods and types into the computer: “Customer says lights turn on and off randomly.”

In my head I think to myself…"Yea, lights come on “intermittently. That's what I said the first time.”