The Security Line

I've been in Portland, OR for the last week and flew back to San Diego yesterday afternoon. I got sick on the landing at my layover in Reno, but that's not news. I get sick a lot on planes. Especially in Reno. The mountains there make for pretty turbulent landings. Anyway, as always, airports are a great place to see humanity at it's dumbest. Here are just two examples taken from my 10 minute wait in the security line:

A woman in her mid to late 30s with a huge brown leather purse stood about 3 people ahead of me in line. There was a TSA sanding at the security check point rattling off the new rules about carrying no liquids, gels, aerosols, or pastes over 3.4 ounces. When the woman with the brown purse got to the front of the line she put her bag on the conveyor belt and it went through the scanner. I was standing far enough back in the line that I could get a good look at the monitor and get a peep at her belongings. Aside from some usual-looking items, there were three of what appeared to be quart-sized containers holding some type of liquid. The TSA asked the woman if she had any liquids, pastes, gels, or aerosols in her purse. She said she didn't. He told her he had to search her bag and he took it off the belt and started to go through it. I watched him pull out three Tupperware containers full of red stuff. When the TSA asked the woman what was in them, she replied, "spaghetti sauce." ?!?! Wha-wha-what?! On what planet is spaghetti sauce not a liquid? There's no question this woman was dumb, but what was she being dumb about? Was she dumb enough to think spaghetti sauce wasn't a liquid, or was she dumb enough to actually think she could sneak 3 quarts of spaghetti sauce past the TSAs?

Right behind the spaghetti sauce woman there was a man and an 8 or 9 year old boy. It was obvious this was the boy's first plane trip and the man was trying to explain to him each and every thing that was going on and what he could expect once he got on the plane. He was telling the boy about the safety demonstration that the flight attendant would do. He talked about the multiple exits, how the attendant would show them how to use the seat belts and the oxygen masks. The boy asked what the oxygen masks were for. The man explained that they were for if the plane lost cabin pressure. The boy then asked what happens if the plane lost cabin pressure. The man proceeded to say, and I quote, "Well, if the cabin gets depressurized, everybody dies." What?! I don't know much about raising kids, but I'm pretty sure telling them about the mortal perils of flight isn't the way to ease their minds before boarding a plane. The man went on to tell the kid about a flight where the cabin depressurized, and everyone suffocated, but the plan just kept on flying until it ran out of gas and crashed. He followed that up by emphasizing that no one on the plane died in the crash since they all died long before that when the plane depressurized. Poor kid. He wasn't on my flight, but I imagine he was terrified.