Parking Nazis!

I woke up this morning and was in a considerably good mood until I walked out to my car. As I lowered myself into the driver’s seat, I saw the little yellow envelope on the windshield that meant I had a parking ticket. I got out of the car, and before even picking up the ticket, I checked to make sure no part of my car was by a red curb or near a “no parking” sign. It wasn’t. I was perfectly legally parked. Convinced that there was some mistake, I took the envelope and opened it to read the ticket. I was being fined $47 for “wheel cramping – hill.” My parking break was on, and the hill isn’t anything crazy like you find in San Francisco or anything, but I was issued a $47 dollar fine for not having my wheels turned into the hill hard enough!

Flustered, I looked down the line of cars parked behind mine. All but one had also been visited by the parking ticket fairy for what I can only assume is the same offence. I glanced at the other side of the street…same thing. I’m furious. What a stupid thing to get ticketed for! At first I figured that the parking cop must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and was just abusing his authority because it gave him some sort of sick satisfaction. But then I remembered when I lived in NY and how I’d watch the speedometer much more closely towards the end of the month. NY, (and most states as it turns out) has a quota of speeding tickets that its officers try to meet every month. You are much more likely to get a ticket for a 5mph infraction at the end of the month, than at the beginning. I’m figuring it’s the same way with parking tickets here in San Diego. It’s the 31st of October (yea…happy Halloween to me) and I bet this parking cop slacked off all month and had to scramble today to dole out his quota of tickets. I counted 11 tickets on cars on my block alone!

Still sort of in shock, I opened the envelope one more time. This time I read the fine to be $25! I’m confused. I could have sworn I read the fine to be $47. I turn the ticket over. WTF! It’s actually TWO tickets back to back! The $25 dollar ticket is for not having my current registration displayed. But it is. The stickers on my license plate clearly indicate that my registration is good until January of 2007. Closer inspection of the ticket shows that the citing officer claimed I have “no current window sticker.” Well yea…in my home state, proof of registration is on the plates only. I don’t know how California does it, but I have no window sticker to indicate registration…just the plate stickers. I even checked the front and back plates of my car to make sure I had the right stickers on both. I do.

Here’s the kicker: I was planning on contesting. If not the wheel cramping ticket, at least the registration ticket. But I can’t. Technically it’s not my car, it’s my fathers. It’s registered back home because that’s where he lives. As a student I can use that as justification for not having changed my plates to California thirty days after moving here, but since I’m taking a break from being a student…no bueno. I can’t contest unless I have proof of my being a current student. So I have no choice but to suck it up and pay $72 dollars in bogus fines. Happy F%$k!*g Halloween!

Poison Oak

Last night when I got home, I was in the middle of a chat with my roommate and a friend when I realized I was scratching my arm. I looked down at it, and to my horror, I saw a little red bump. Since I was camping and disc golfing at Lake Casitas over the weekend where there is plenty of poison oak, I knew immediately what it was. All of a sudden I imagined I felt itchy all over, especially behind my left knee. I ran to change into shorts to check it out and sure enough there's a palm-sized patch of poison oak there. Until this past Spring, I had never contracted poison oak, though I've wandered through it many many times. I had it for what seemed like forever. It didn't go away for weeks! I'm hoping that since this bout came on quicker than the last, it will go away quicker too. I have zero will power when it come to not sratching it. I have scars from the last bout. Anyway, I woke up this morning and took stock of the places it's sprung up so far. Behind my left knee. Tiny dot on both forearms. Tint speck on right thigh. And a patch on my left shoulder. Grr....I'm crossing my fingers that it won't spread father.

Clown Car

Yesterday evening I was driving home from a weekend-long disc golf tournament in Ventura, CA with a friend when we passed something pretty funny. Just North of Long Beach on Interstate 405 we came across this fine fellow. It seems a bit early, still, for Halloween so I deduce that he was either a professional clown, or just some really whacked out guy not to be messed with. We drove along side and snapped this pic of him out the passenger window while he wasn’t looking and then sped away laughing. It’s not everyday that you see a guy in full-on clown getup driving down the highway.

Reading: A Lost Art (The Puppy is Saved!)

In my last post I wrote about how the dim-witted secretaries at my work can’t read, and therefore leave packages clearly marked “refrigerate upon arrival” out at room temperature for days when they sign for them. Monday was the most recent offence…until yesterday anyway. That was what?...a three day respite in secretary-related ignorance squelching my productivity (and my faith in the existence of a modicum of intelligence among the general public)? Granted, the “Freeze Upon Arrival” message on this package was not as in-your-face as the bright green sticker on the last package (see the images). But still, after the little talk about the last incident, I’d like to think that the secretary at fault would scour every package fervently for instructions fueled by the desire to maintain her current employment status. But alas, this is apparently not the case.

On Monday I had to order a new antibody to replace one that never worked. That’s a whole different story for a different day, but in short, this shady company sold our lab a product that they knew didn’t work, and I spent about three weeks trying to troubleshoot it before the company finally got back to me and admitted the product was crap. Anyway, I ordered a new antibody from a reputable company Monday, and was told it would ship in a day or two. When I got into work today I checked the cold room and still had no antibody. Wondering where it was (and also being a bit suspicious of my own secretaries at this point) I called the company and asked them for a status update on the shipment. Sure enough, it was delivered and signed for yesterday at 10:09 am. The customer support lady gave me the name of the signer. Yup, one of my secretaries.

I marched over to her desk and asked if she had recently signed for any packages for me. She said “yes” and that she had put one in my mailbox. First of all, I didn’t actually even have my own department mailbox until this week. Seems it was created because of the arrival of this package. So if I didn’t know I HAD a mailbox, why would I check it? Secondly, my lab is about 30 steps down the hall from where the secretary sits. Could she not have walked down the hall and handed me my package? Seems to me that would have been easier that making me a mailbox with it’s own little printed name label on it.

Before even going to check my mailbox, I asked her if the package had said anything about refrigeration or freezing upon arrival. She said no. Doubting her, but still giving her the benefit of the doubt (something I clearly need to stop doing), I went and got the package from the mailbox. Sure enough, there was a stamp on it reading, “Ship Ambient. Freeze Upon Arrival.” I marched it back over to her, put it on her desk and pointed silently to the stamp. She began to apologize profusely but I cut her off saying that what’s done is done, but in the future I want all my mail, letters, packages, even my pay check, to be delivered directly to the cold room. Then I walked out.

Just four days ago I had said I’d stake the life of a puppy on something like this happening again. Well good news animal lovers…a puppy has been saved! That sure didn’t take long.

Reading: A Lost Art (The sequel)

Well, it happened again. I got into work today and again found a package clearly marked, “Refrigerate Upon Arrival” that was left on the counter in my lab since Friday. Only this time it wasn’t just sitting there undisturbed. The package was open, the packing slip was removed and placed on the counter, and the two bottles from inside were also removed and sitting on the counter next to the empty box. I’m at my wit’s end with this. All I can say is WTF?!?! Just read and follow directions people! It's really not rocket science here. It's clear that the perp can read. After all, the package made it into my lab because it had my name and lab address written on it. So what the frick is the problem?! It's got a bright green sticker on it saying "Refrigerate Upon Arrival!" The sticker's almost as big as an entire side of the box!!! Argh!


Stay tuned for the next installment of "Reading: A Lost Art." I'd be willing to bet a puppy's life on there being a few more such incidents around here. Apparently you really can't teach an old dog new tricks, and you can’t teach a disgruntled, self-important secretary to read and follow directions.