Jerry, The Next Generation

I don't read many blogs. I can think of maybe five total that I look at. Of those, there's maybe only three that I check out more than once a week. One of which is The Sneeze by a guy named Steve. I came across it a while back when I wrote a blog about a can of "potted meat food product" that turned my stomach when I saw it on the shelf of a store. Turns out that Steve had encountered it too. He wrote all about it, and other horrible "food" items in a portion of his blog called, "Steve, Don't Eat It" in which he samples the world's most revolting consumables, and blogs about it.

Anyway, back on May 23, Steve blogged about an episode of Star Trek The Next Generation in which a male Enterprise officer was seen in the background wearing a uniform dress. Steve's readers, obviously well versed in Star Trek trivia and no doubt still living with their mothers, were quick to write in and provide insight. Apparently, the man-dress "was an attempt to reinforce the idea that men and women are equal in the twenty-fourth century. [The dress] was worn by both men and women. The uniform seems to have been short-lived, being used only during 2364-2365 (TNG season 1 and the first part of 2). It was phased out in favor of the unisex jumpsuit."

Whew! That's a lot of useless nerdy information. Anyway, I couldn't help but see the picture of TNG officer (like my use of the insider lingo here?) and think of the only other Star Trek fan I know of: Jerry! If Jerry were an officer on the Enterprise, I'm confident he'd throw aside gender rolls and don the dress. He's just that kind of buck-the-system, forward thinking, equality-seeking guy. So for anyone who's interested (and with insincere apologies to those of you who aren't) here's what Jerry would look like in his TNG Enterprise officer uni-dress.

Unlike the actual officer on the left who looks horrified by his own attire, Jerry would be smiling and cheerful in his duties. I'm sure of it. (OK, maybe I'm 70-30 on him smiling, but this was the only picture I had to work with.)

On a related note, I find it tough to believe that men in this generation haven't yet donned the dress. Not to dredge up stereotypes, but your typical man lives out much of his life trying to find the easiest way to do just about everything. For example, you'd be hard pressed to find a guy willing to change the TV channel without the aid of a remote control. The dress would make many manly activities easier. Mooning someone would no longer require the undoing of the belt. Going to the bathroom would no longer require using a zipper. (I'd imagine this would provide additional safety benefits as well.)

For hundreds of years, Scottish men have donned kilts. Clearly, these men saw them advantageous. And who can argue with the Scots? They're the men who brought us the self adhesive postage stamp, whisky, and golf. All thing that make our lives easier (or in whisky's case, at least easier to deal with anyway).

So, "What's Chris' point with all of this?" you may be asking yourselves. "Is she advocating that men start wearing skirts and dresses?" No. That's not it at all. I just thought it'd be pretty funny to see what Jerry would look like in a Star Trek dress uniform. I'm just a bored, unemployed jerk like that with way too much time on my hands.